後天考試了
怎麽樣？
我不知道
這幾天很複雜
熱力學真的很難
其他科目又似懂非懂...
懂的覺得它太容易了，應該不會那麽容易
被Damien Rice的“The Blower's Daughter”感動
一直很喜歡這首歌...可是不曉得歌名，也沒仔細聆聽
一直到星光五倪安東演唱才發覺，謝謝倪夢推薦。
一直很興奮
我指的是精神，不是意志
沒想到音樂可以給我的感動和衝擊是那麽的巨大
前幾天作了Brain Test...
發現我是右腦思維...
右腦主宰藝術、美學、創意、語文
左腦主宰科學、邏輯、理性
雖然我是右腦思維，但我的Mental Rotation和空間概念拿滿分
第二次出現這樣的成績了
兩三年前的測試也是這樣
有一點後悔沒去讀室内設計
成績顯示我的大腦有50%的男性特製（理性）
也就是說另外50%是感性的
一直聼人說羡慕我可以很理性的分析問題，又能很感性的感受藝術
麗玲說她堅信我一定會很成功
因爲我很聰明
但是我知道我從來都不聰穎，又沒有什麽天分
今天突然覺得我不應該是我
我一直都知道骨子裏叛逆的那個我的存在
老實說吧
叛逆時期的我真的是比較有靈感，文字創作比較旺盛
現在？
生活乖了
也空了
如果現在的我不是我
如果我是不是現在的我
是不是能成爲一直期待成爲的藝術家？
文字、圖畫、音樂、舞蹈...
面對未來
我其實很恐懼
我其實很害怕
我其實很擔心
我總能向你描述我喜歡的理想生活
但我不確定那是不是我真的想要的
而生命太短的本質
模糊了我天秤上物質與心靈得到與付出享樂與成就的平衡
模糊了
自我
2009年11月8日星期日
2009年11月1日星期日
五個理由
我有五個理由，以後想在外國常住。
我說的外國，泛指西方國家，如歐美、澳大利亞。
第一：外國的生活習慣更適合我
無論是飲食，作息，休閒活動，娛樂方式，都比東方的更適合我。我也許不是一個喜歡泡夜店的人，但這不代表我不喜歡品酒。一杯小酌，恬靜的咖啡廳，慵懶的爵士樂，心裏的正是我的那一杯茶。
第二：外國的思維模式更適合我
很多人都說老外的家庭價值觀不強。其實我不同意。外國人也有很重視家庭關係的。只是有些他們所認爲的家庭倫理和東方所認爲的不同。
第三：外國的藝術文化更適合我
外國的文化藝術，舞臺劇、交響樂、藝術展，都是我無法在亞洲獲得的。
第四：我更能接受外國人的素質
在中餐舘工作久了，覺得看多了東方人的陋習。例如，好心的問一句：“請問吃飽了嗎？還要吃什麽甜點嗎？”7成亞洲人會回答：“早就還錢了還吃什麽！”所有老外會回答：“不了！我們吃飽了！謝謝你！”
這不代表我崇洋媚外。這不代表我忘本。有時候，認識自身的醜陋是愛上自身的第一步。
第五：秘密，不告訴你
我說的外國，泛指西方國家，如歐美、澳大利亞。
第一：外國的生活習慣更適合我
無論是飲食，作息，休閒活動，娛樂方式，都比東方的更適合我。我也許不是一個喜歡泡夜店的人，但這不代表我不喜歡品酒。一杯小酌，恬靜的咖啡廳，慵懶的爵士樂，心裏的正是我的那一杯茶。
第二：外國的思維模式更適合我
很多人都說老外的家庭價值觀不強。其實我不同意。外國人也有很重視家庭關係的。只是有些他們所認爲的家庭倫理和東方所認爲的不同。
第三：外國的藝術文化更適合我
外國的文化藝術，舞臺劇、交響樂、藝術展，都是我無法在亞洲獲得的。
第四：我更能接受外國人的素質
在中餐舘工作久了，覺得看多了東方人的陋習。例如，好心的問一句：“請問吃飽了嗎？還要吃什麽甜點嗎？”7成亞洲人會回答：“早就還錢了還吃什麽！”所有老外會回答：“不了！我們吃飽了！謝謝你！”
這不代表我崇洋媚外。這不代表我忘本。有時候，認識自身的醜陋是愛上自身的第一步。
第五：秘密，不告訴你
2009年10月10日星期六
前路
當你迫近於工作的年齡
加上急於經濟獨立的野心
還有物質欲望理想生活的欲望
就會有所謂的“瀕臨畢業大學生症候群”
症狀：杞人憂天
原本就被冠以“想太多”和“想不開”名堂的我，再加上這個症候群，不免會有紊亂的思緒。
基於計劃自己的未來
希望能在時間框架裏建立理想、營造生活
我一直都以興趣廣泛自居自豪
雖然家人認爲那不是一個優點，反而讓我無法在某一個領域有過人的表現
最近也開始同意他們
覺得自己前途茫茫
之所以茫茫，正是因爲興趣太多、選擇太多、野心太大
如果乖乖讀完化學工程，安分守己當一位工程師
然後結婚生子…
然後老死
也許就不會有那麽多煩惱了
談到我的興趣，我說其實我對醫學很有興趣，但可惜醫科學費較高，家裏難以負擔
銘凱問了我一個問題：如果不考慮家裏經濟的能力，你會修讀什麽科？
我說：也許是全校最貴的科系吧——音樂系
但是如果不考慮自己沒有音樂背景——法律系
相差甚遠不是嗎？
那些所謂的，真的是我喜歡的嗎？
也許吧。
法學是我在研讀了排球規則之後發現的興趣——一本書：所有的對錯都依照裏面的定義、法則、條文、個案，不再以常識判斷對錯。
言談之間，突然意識到——從事什麽行業無所謂，最重要的是自己能夠安於該狀：享受自己所做的、期待爭取更好的表現或成績。
人生本來就是一直處在Dynamic State（動態改變）…
前途，似乎清了。
The future is clearer when you let it be random.
加上急於經濟獨立的野心
還有物質欲望理想生活的欲望
就會有所謂的“瀕臨畢業大學生症候群”
症狀：杞人憂天
原本就被冠以“想太多”和“想不開”名堂的我，再加上這個症候群，不免會有紊亂的思緒。
基於計劃自己的未來
希望能在時間框架裏建立理想、營造生活
我一直都以興趣廣泛自居自豪
雖然家人認爲那不是一個優點，反而讓我無法在某一個領域有過人的表現
最近也開始同意他們
覺得自己前途茫茫
之所以茫茫，正是因爲興趣太多、選擇太多、野心太大
如果乖乖讀完化學工程，安分守己當一位工程師
然後結婚生子…
然後老死
也許就不會有那麽多煩惱了
談到我的興趣，我說其實我對醫學很有興趣，但可惜醫科學費較高，家裏難以負擔
銘凱問了我一個問題：如果不考慮家裏經濟的能力，你會修讀什麽科？
我說：也許是全校最貴的科系吧——音樂系
但是如果不考慮自己沒有音樂背景——法律系
相差甚遠不是嗎？
那些所謂的，真的是我喜歡的嗎？
也許吧。
法學是我在研讀了排球規則之後發現的興趣——一本書：所有的對錯都依照裏面的定義、法則、條文、個案，不再以常識判斷對錯。
言談之間，突然意識到——從事什麽行業無所謂，最重要的是自己能夠安於該狀：享受自己所做的、期待爭取更好的表現或成績。
人生本來就是一直處在Dynamic State（動態改變）…
前途，似乎清了。
The future is clearer when you let it be random.
2009年10月5日星期一
事實。剝離
事實
事實是殘酷的
認清事實其實不難
承認事實才是艱難的
例如
承認一個人只是你生命裏的過客
一位擦肩而過的路人
像是坐在地鐵列車裏
門打開時走進來一位亭亭玉立的女生
站在扶杆邊
你心動了，被她的氣質和美麗征服
門再次打開
她走了出去
身影漸沒於熙來攘往的地鐵站
你很希望擁有她
但你必須承認，她只是你生命裏的過客
像是走進健身房
徒步走到跑步機上開始跑步健身
這是看到一位身材健美的男生走向出口
妳屈服于他的英挺之下
可只能在跑步機上看他拿著背包走向停車場
妳很希望他出現在妳生命裏多幾次
但妳必須承認，他只是妳生命裏的過客
當接受事實的時刻到來
你只能捂著心
認了
剝離
有沒有這樣的感覺：
覺得自己背著世界所剝離
突然閒覺得自己不屬於這裡
也覺得這裡不屬於自己
然後什麽都不想做
只想睡覺
睡覺
什麽都不想思考
如果外面有一場很大的雷雨
仿佛颱風登陸
心裏就會覺得踏實
因爲你已經剝離了
需要一些什麽來捍衛自己的世界
不被這個世界所侵佔
事實是殘酷的
認清事實其實不難
承認事實才是艱難的
例如
承認一個人只是你生命裏的過客
一位擦肩而過的路人
像是坐在地鐵列車裏
門打開時走進來一位亭亭玉立的女生
站在扶杆邊
你心動了，被她的氣質和美麗征服
門再次打開
她走了出去
身影漸沒於熙來攘往的地鐵站
你很希望擁有她
但你必須承認，她只是你生命裏的過客
像是走進健身房
徒步走到跑步機上開始跑步健身
這是看到一位身材健美的男生走向出口
妳屈服于他的英挺之下
可只能在跑步機上看他拿著背包走向停車場
妳很希望他出現在妳生命裏多幾次
但妳必須承認，他只是妳生命裏的過客
當接受事實的時刻到來
你只能捂著心
認了
剝離
有沒有這樣的感覺：
覺得自己背著世界所剝離
突然閒覺得自己不屬於這裡
也覺得這裡不屬於自己
然後什麽都不想做
只想睡覺
睡覺
什麽都不想思考
如果外面有一場很大的雷雨
仿佛颱風登陸
心裏就會覺得踏實
因爲你已經剝離了
需要一些什麽來捍衛自己的世界
不被這個世界所侵佔
2009年9月26日星期六
Absurdness of an Existentialist
Not a qualified Existentialist I am; knowing, believing something and practising it has different extend of difficulties. The previous involves only intellectual part of a man which I think I am good at I suppose. The later, however, requires experience and training of one's self emotion manipulation and resistance towards biological desire. I have to agree with Austrian Psychologist Sigmund Freud - "The irrational forces in man's nature are so strong that the rational forces have little chance of success against them."
Existentialism believes in the absurd, chaotic and disorder manner of the world. Despite so, it is not as pessimistic as Nihilism. "Believing in the absurdness of life shall not be the destination, but the way." (Albert Camus)
Sarcastically, I always want an orderly life; of course, I am happy for all challenges. While planning few years ahead from the present, I see absurness of the planning, and of my life.
Existentialism believes in the absurd, chaotic and disorder manner of the world. Despite so, it is not as pessimistic as Nihilism. "Believing in the absurdness of life shall not be the destination, but the way." (Albert Camus)
Sarcastically, I always want an orderly life; of course, I am happy for all challenges. While planning few years ahead from the present, I see absurness of the planning, and of my life.
2009年9月20日星期日
Perth Drug Awareness Schools Cup Volleyball Competition 記柏斯反毒醒覺聯校杯排球賽
Times flied in 5 days, but it had been long struggle for high school volleyball players in Perth who were participating in Drug Awareness Schools Cup. Physically fatigued, biologically exhausted, mentally worn and emotionally entangled.
5 days of competition at Loftus Recreation Centre in Leederville, from early morning at 8 to late night at 10. Competing for 4 categories, 3 levels, 2 groups: Under 14, Under 15, Under 16, Open; Honours, Grade A, Grade B; Male, Female, massive of teenagers were involved. I never seen such a tremendous scene in a sports event, especially for volleyball.
5 courts were running at the same time, 1 hour for each game, from Qualification to Semi-final to grand-final: I was excited and thrilled by knowing how popular volleyball is in Perth.
It is not only a popular and well-practised sports; Perth has high standard on volleyball. It is inspiring.
As 2nd referee and score-judge, I was proud to be involved. I have to wake up at 7 and be prepared to catch the bus at 8:15, transferred in Canning Bridge from bus to Train to Leederville, walked for 400 metres to Loftus Recreation Centre every weekends. In fact, I enjoy doing this. (I hope I could be motivated as so for morning classes everyday.)
Danni, Derek, Jodie and other referees have set a relatively high standard on the competition. Of course it was not only the judging panel, but also coaches and players who have worked very hard, training days and nights.
Although Rossmoyne Senior High School has won the championship since 1992, it is exhilarating to see other high schools such as Greenwood, Wesley, Trinity and Aquinas having the standards to compete on the championship title. Not forgetting other high schools like Penrhos, Mt Lawley, Hale and etc. have worked very hard on the competition too.
After 2 days of observations, It was clear that Rossmoyne does have good coaching on volleyball: from the way how they prepared themselves to receive the first ball, how the teams are structured and functioned.
Being a believer of volleyball as a team-work oriented sports, I observe the "goodness" between Receiver and Setter, Setter and Spiker, Blocker and Libero rather than the "goodness" of the individual Setter, Spiker, Libero or Receiver. Despite having wacky hitter who can jump freaking high or tall, Greenwood could not make it into final, defeated by Trinity.
The Final of Male Open Honours was awesome; between Trinity and Rossmoyne. The final ended up with Trinity beaten Rossmoyne 3-1. Sportsmanship is not about the results of winning or loosing, and it was completely shown through the match. The performances of both teams were brilliant, showing strong determination and team-spirit throughout the match. Both teams behaved honestly, fairly and courteously. It might only be a game with Standard of State Level, but it has the attitude of Olympic Level. Sportsmanship is universal.
The most inspiring part of the competition I had found was on 2 players.
Lewis McDonald from Aquinas College, competing for Male Under 15 Honours. The moment he received the trophy of MVP, I almost teared. "Tiny man, huge ego" is what I would use to describe this talented player. Despite not having advantage on height, he had played marvelously. A setter who tried hard on moving swift, covering hard, and jumping high. He proves to me that you need not to be high to be good. What you need to be good is a flaming heart and strong determination. The attitude of never giving up and the confidence of self-believing.
The other one was Sam Halley from Rossmoyne Senior High School competing for Male Open Honours. More than an experience player and setter he is an athletic and gentleman. Everytime he dived, had great save on the spikes or tips from the opponent, I saw the agility and perseverance of a sportsman. After the game, I knew he was upset by the results. But he had shown the nobility and dignity of a gentleman, a captain. I was pretty surprised that he was not chosen to be All Star Six or MVP. But it is clear that he deserves more than that.
I was exhausted after all. More than feeling tired, I was happy and satisfied.
Colours fade, Temples collapse, Empires perish; but the flaming hearts of athletics never die.
5 days of competition at Loftus Recreation Centre in Leederville, from early morning at 8 to late night at 10. Competing for 4 categories, 3 levels, 2 groups: Under 14, Under 15, Under 16, Open; Honours, Grade A, Grade B; Male, Female, massive of teenagers were involved. I never seen such a tremendous scene in a sports event, especially for volleyball.
5 courts were running at the same time, 1 hour for each game, from Qualification to Semi-final to grand-final: I was excited and thrilled by knowing how popular volleyball is in Perth.
It is not only a popular and well-practised sports; Perth has high standard on volleyball. It is inspiring.
As 2nd referee and score-judge, I was proud to be involved. I have to wake up at 7 and be prepared to catch the bus at 8:15, transferred in Canning Bridge from bus to Train to Leederville, walked for 400 metres to Loftus Recreation Centre every weekends. In fact, I enjoy doing this. (I hope I could be motivated as so for morning classes everyday.)
Danni, Derek, Jodie and other referees have set a relatively high standard on the competition. Of course it was not only the judging panel, but also coaches and players who have worked very hard, training days and nights.
Although Rossmoyne Senior High School has won the championship since 1992, it is exhilarating to see other high schools such as Greenwood, Wesley, Trinity and Aquinas having the standards to compete on the championship title. Not forgetting other high schools like Penrhos, Mt Lawley, Hale and etc. have worked very hard on the competition too.
After 2 days of observations, It was clear that Rossmoyne does have good coaching on volleyball: from the way how they prepared themselves to receive the first ball, how the teams are structured and functioned.
Being a believer of volleyball as a team-work oriented sports, I observe the "goodness" between Receiver and Setter, Setter and Spiker, Blocker and Libero rather than the "goodness" of the individual Setter, Spiker, Libero or Receiver. Despite having wacky hitter who can jump freaking high or tall, Greenwood could not make it into final, defeated by Trinity.
The Final of Male Open Honours was awesome; between Trinity and Rossmoyne. The final ended up with Trinity beaten Rossmoyne 3-1. Sportsmanship is not about the results of winning or loosing, and it was completely shown through the match. The performances of both teams were brilliant, showing strong determination and team-spirit throughout the match. Both teams behaved honestly, fairly and courteously. It might only be a game with Standard of State Level, but it has the attitude of Olympic Level. Sportsmanship is universal.
The most inspiring part of the competition I had found was on 2 players.
Lewis McDonald from Aquinas College, competing for Male Under 15 Honours. The moment he received the trophy of MVP, I almost teared. "Tiny man, huge ego" is what I would use to describe this talented player. Despite not having advantage on height, he had played marvelously. A setter who tried hard on moving swift, covering hard, and jumping high. He proves to me that you need not to be high to be good. What you need to be good is a flaming heart and strong determination. The attitude of never giving up and the confidence of self-believing.
The other one was Sam Halley from Rossmoyne Senior High School competing for Male Open Honours. More than an experience player and setter he is an athletic and gentleman. Everytime he dived, had great save on the spikes or tips from the opponent, I saw the agility and perseverance of a sportsman. After the game, I knew he was upset by the results. But he had shown the nobility and dignity of a gentleman, a captain. I was pretty surprised that he was not chosen to be All Star Six or MVP. But it is clear that he deserves more than that.
I was exhausted after all. More than feeling tired, I was happy and satisfied.
Colours fade, Temples collapse, Empires perish; but the flaming hearts of athletics never die.
2009年9月14日星期一
Mistake
有時候不能不相信星象學
金牛一直以來都是以“害怕改變”著稱
我強烈在自己的身上找到這個素質...
不是我怕改變
有時候我也是會有突如其來的感覺或計劃
但是一旦我所計劃的計劃被打亂時，我就會亂了方寸
不論是生活作息、經濟財政、未來方向...
我都會事先計劃
什麽時間上學、工作、復習、運動、休息...
有時候會有小插曲，像突如其來想要休息...
但是如果是外來因素致使的改變，我就會備受打擊...然後縱容自己...
加上水星星座在雙魚：
總愛計劃幻想，把一切都計劃得天衣無縫完美無瑕...
我喜歡意外...像突然計劃的旅行...
但我不希望自己的計劃被打亂
但現實是殘酷的
現實絕對不會遷就你的計劃
如果你的計劃實現了20%，就很值得開心了
就像這次地交換，是不在我計劃之内的
初步計劃、落實了，才正式計劃詳細
可詳細計劃之實現了多少呢？30%左右吧
值得開心了
有時候生活裏絕對要容許一些錯誤、意外的發生
借用《How I Met Your Mother》 裏 Lily的話：
There are certain things in life, where you know it’s a mistake but you don’t really know it’s a mistake. Because the only way to really know it’s a mistake, is to make the mistake and back and said:"Yupe! That was a mistake." So really, the bigger mistake will be the not make the mistake because then you go your whole life not really knowing something is mistake or not.
和大家共勉
金牛一直以來都是以“害怕改變”著稱
我強烈在自己的身上找到這個素質...
不是我怕改變
有時候我也是會有突如其來的感覺或計劃
但是一旦我所計劃的計劃被打亂時，我就會亂了方寸
不論是生活作息、經濟財政、未來方向...
我都會事先計劃
什麽時間上學、工作、復習、運動、休息...
有時候會有小插曲，像突如其來想要休息...
但是如果是外來因素致使的改變，我就會備受打擊...然後縱容自己...
加上水星星座在雙魚：
總愛計劃幻想，把一切都計劃得天衣無縫完美無瑕...
我喜歡意外...像突然計劃的旅行...
但我不希望自己的計劃被打亂
但現實是殘酷的
現實絕對不會遷就你的計劃
如果你的計劃實現了20%，就很值得開心了
就像這次地交換，是不在我計劃之内的
初步計劃、落實了，才正式計劃詳細
可詳細計劃之實現了多少呢？30%左右吧
值得開心了
有時候生活裏絕對要容許一些錯誤、意外的發生
借用《How I Met Your Mother》 裏 Lily的話：
There are certain things in life, where you know it’s a mistake but you don’t really know it’s a mistake. Because the only way to really know it’s a mistake, is to make the mistake and back and said:"Yupe! That was a mistake." So really, the bigger mistake will be the not make the mistake because then you go your whole life not really knowing something is mistake or not.
和大家共勉
訂閱：
文章 (Atom)
